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i’m all good

April 27, 2010

this story needs a little background. part of the graphic design major at Mississippi College is a required summer internship with at least 200 hours of work (no, this isn’t a sales pitch, this is a good story). i was a little lackadaisical for a while, but after a well-needed figurative slap in the face from my parents, i got to work emailing several people, looking for opportunities. My contacts were eclectic as all get out: Disciple Design, a Christian design company in Memphis, Tennessee; David C. Cook, a Christian publishing and resource company based in Colorado Springs, CO; and Jedidiah Clothing Company hailing from sunny San Diego, CA. as one might imagine, i was praying the ‘Serenity’ Prayer just about every day, trying to keep my heart at peace with whatever my potential employers may decide, yet courageous enough to do all that was still within my power (plus the wisdom to know the difference). despite my constant prayers, i still found a way to worry and stress over the whole situation. i’m stupid like that. David C. Cook was looking real promising until last week, when I got an e-mail stating that they would not be able to take me on for the summer. that was followed with an e-mail from Disciple Design, which said they had made their choice of intern for the summer and it wasn’t me (the e-mail specified that the intern was from Mississippi State, i’m not sure if they were trying to tell me something). i had known going in that both of these companies would probably have several applicants and i may or may not have stood out (in this case, not so much). following the e-mail from David C. Cook, i received several phone calls from my family, expressing their sympathies but always capping off the conversation with their unique version of “God has his plan Joel, and this just wasn’t it.” i could tell it was unusual when my sister called, who almost never calls me (not that i’m calling her out or anything, i never call her myself). the one thing these phone calls told me, though, is that i already knew all these things about God’s plan that my family was trying so desperately to tell me. i almost wanted to yell it on the phone, “i’m all good! i know that this wasn’t God’s plan because it didn’t happen! i’m at peace y’all!” the two things that stopped me from yelling these things were (1) that peace i was just talking about, and (2) i know my family was just doing what a good family does, and i wasn’t about to stop them. i am grateful beyond measure to my fam and God that i have people that will call me when i don’t get something that i want, and will do more if they have to. but the thing is i don’t need their condolences and sympathies to feel at peace. God answered my prayers in the biggest way when i needed it the most. heres the other thing: although since i lost those opportunities, two more have sprung up (another example of God’s blessing), i could fail miserably at any and all of my remaining internship possibilities. i could be falsely accused of cheating on my finals this weekend and be kicked out of school. i could total my car and break all four limbs driving home next week. i could fall to the deepest depths of the human experience and still be all good, because God is Sovereign, God is Good, and God is on my side. as long as I am willing to accept it, God offers His peace in all situations because “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.”

thank you for your prayers and thank you for the phone calls, but i’m all good.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.”
Francis Chan, Crazy Love

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Mom permalink
    April 28, 2010 10:03 pm

    If nothing else happens for you this summer, Joel, this attitude and how you just communicated it in “I’m all good” is worth it for you and your life and for me..thank you for leading me tonight in the ways of the Lord. I am forever grateful to be your mom.

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